Sometimes I forget that most people don't have serious anxiety about the sensory overload of having a shower. I spent years trying to find exactly the right smells and products to make things less overwhelming, and less allergic and then would not change them for years, and then had a meltdown when I couldn't get them anymore. Same with laundry products. I think that's been a thing I've done for years. Find the thing that makes me look and feel the most "normal" when perceived by others and then never change it. I think that was even the case with my gender for years.
Do I have issues with this? No because I have A,B&C. - but if I didn't I'd be a ball of human in the closet in tears.
Good lord I hate being wet and the feeling of water evaporating on my skin, but simultaneously, I love to swim, I just hate getting out. I would stay in until I was a hypothermic grape just to not have to get out and feel my wet hair and skin.
These days i couple my shower anxiety with mecfs exhaustion and it feels like a serious internal battle most of the time, but I managed to have one today. It took three hours to get the volition, but I'm clean and uncomfortable. I would blow dry my hair if I could take the sound.
#audhd #autism #sensoryOverload @actuallyautistic
