Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues (Live at Reading Festival - 2015)
This song was a determining factor for me at the time of my coming-in, because of its affirming power. Now (tonight, for example) I'm really experiencing what it's about, but I still love it.
Going Up Or Coming Down
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/going-up-or-coming-down-justin-farrimond.html
Life has a habit of throwing you down the stairs when you've worked so hard to get up there. What can you do?
Get right back up.
They have no idea how determined you can be.
What have you done for your own wellbeing today?
Take a look at TransActual's Mental Health and Wellbeing Hub for links to resources and information and for the details of organisations that can support you when times are tough.
I said I'd be fine without shaving for three days whole I travel. I was wrong
#Dysphoria
Keep On Walking - Canvas Print
All you can do sometimes is keep on walking.
#PhotoOfTheDay #BlackAndWhitePhotography #MonochromeMonday #Dysphoria #Photography #CanvasPrint #InteriorDesign
Some days I mourn my envitable, some days I just yearn...I'm not the person I thought I'd be when I was younger and I'll never be the person I want to be.
Some days I just want to wake up and be masculine appearing and have a boyfriend or a husband and be his boyfriend or husband. I don't think that's possible for me. Not where I am, not where I live, not where I'll be. I can't keep living like this, but to change would to be forever alone. In the body I have now, I wouldn't be so lonely.
Sometimes, I rather wither away. Sometimes, I know I'd be better gone.
I don't have spite, I don't live for spite. I just am here and alive. It's really something else. I'm tired. I don't understand anything or know anything. Sometimes art is the only thing I have to be myself because I don't think there's a me out there and if they are there, they're really unreal.
Darkside of Bad Doors
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/darkside-of-bad-doors-justin-farrimond.html
You thought they couldn't get any more evil?
Even bad doors have a darker side.
Send help my vessels hair razor is frozen in a cup of water from our bus getting very cold
Through Conan's Kirk
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/through-conans-kirk-justin-farrimond.html
Through Conan's Kirk, a cloistered walk, where bygone memories and shadows talk.
Maritime Drift
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/maritime-drift-justin-farrimond.html
"Those beautiful sailors journeyed - The antediluvian kings colonised the world"
Donovan
A triple exposure, here, now, and then, haunting today with the visions of the past yet to be.
Hail Holocene!
That Staircase At Yard 123
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/that-staircase-at-yard-123-justin-farrimond.html
You maybe cannot see the ghosts of the past in this image, but they're there. Mind how you go.
Awaiting Development
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/awaiting-development-justin-farrimond.html
Another pile of yesterday awaiting development on a bleak English industrial estate. The corrugated asbestos roof holds together the commercial time capsule, but for how much longer?
St Mary's Church Newchurch In Pendle
In the shadow of Pendle Hill stands this 'Cathedral in the forest' - St Mary's Church, Newchurch in Pendle.
Originally built in the 16th century on the site of a 13th century small chapel this fine Anglican parish church is still in regular use.
Image CW: selfie; multiple ec: alt-text essay
Post CW: dysphoria; normative social systems; longpost
I know today isn't #transitiontuesday, but I'm posting a #transitiontimeline anyway. This one is special for me. I'm wearing no makeup, no distinctly feminine outfit, and I've done nothing with my hair except pull it into a bun. **And there are visible changes!!** I feel more femme, I see myself as more femme, and it doesn't require substantial effort anymore.
I wanted to share these photos because #transitioning is messy. It's long, it's slow, it requires a ton of effort and constantly managing #dysphoria , and **it works**. I feel better about myself today than I ever have in my life, despite the huge amount of change I still hope to undergo.
Fedi helped make it happen. I joined Mastodon shortly after hatching with a million questions and no idea where to start searching for answers. What I found here was a welcoming community of people, many of whom were making amazing progress in their own transitions.
I spent the past year learning and growing, becoming more familiar with who I truly am, and want to be. I've made friends who have changed my life in unexpected and beautiful ways. I've shared **myself** in ways that would have been unimaginable prior to hatching. I feel compelled to recognize this community for all the support, growth, and #transjoy it has provided me. Thank you, my dear, dear friends
I also want to acknowledge how difficult this process is. So far, I've spent a year painfully extricating my gender experience from the cisgender, heteronormative environment in which I was raised. I've spent two months now making sense of how my approach to relationships has been shaped by the mononormativity that pervades modern media, advertising, social systems, and American culture. And after some intense conversation last night (that went wayyyyy past my bedtime), I'm realizing that even my understanding of love was propagandized by my upbringing. The process of unmaking old habits and shaping new, healthier ones is excruciating. And recognizing how much of **my** life was withheld from me by xenophobic people and systems is frustrating to no end.
So thank you, Fedi, for saving my life, in the sense that without your help, I would never have taken ownership of it in a way that lets me be authentically me, and shape my future independently from, and in spite of, my past. You are **ALL** amazing and beautiful.
Long Stairs
https://justin-farrimond.pixels.com/featured/long-stairs-justin-farrimond.html
The Long Stairs in Newcastle upon Tyne, England.
Made famous in the 1930's musical 'Battleship Potemkin' the stairs in fact predate Hollywood. Henry the 8th was said to be furious when his wide girth caused the closing of the linked Swing Bridge and had the architect of the stairs Henry Hardwick (no relation) fed to his pet lion.