William Witteman<p>Why don't you put dishes with gold leaf in the dishwasher?</p><p>Because you'll be racked with gilt.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
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#dadjokes
47 posts · 28 participants · 0 posts today
Dad Jokes<p>Hostess: Do you have a preference of where you sit?<br>Dad: Down.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>It will always let you down</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
extremeimprov<p>Extreme Improv Joke of the Day</p><p>New episode daily!</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokesbadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokesbadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokesfordays" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokesfordays</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>It still hasn't turned up.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
sbv<p>Something-mology</p><p><a href="https://sh.itjust.works/post/35310830" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">sh.itjust.works/post/35310830</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>Lack of concentration.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Eric supports DEI!<p>Reminder: You can always see snippets from my zine, Shut Yer Pie Hole!, at <a href="http://www.shutyerpiehole.org" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">http://www.</span><span class="">shutyerpiehole.org</span><span class="invisible"></span></a><br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/politicalhumor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>politicalhumor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/politics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>politics</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/uspolitics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>uspolitics</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/satire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>satire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/politicalsatire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>politicalsatire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>Its parents were in a jam.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:<p>Spiraling hard mentally this morning. Please send all the pics and shitposts. <a href="https://beige.party/tags/CatsOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>CatsOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/DogsOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DogsOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/PetsOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>PetsOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/FediPets" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>FediPets</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/BlackCatsOfFedi" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>BlackCatsOfFedi</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/TuxedoCatsOfFedi" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>TuxedoCatsOfFedi</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/TuxedoCatsOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>TuxedoCatsOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Cats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Cats</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Dogs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Dogs</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Sheep" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Sheep</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Goats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Goats</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Bloomscrolling" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Bloomscrolling</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Asstodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Asstodon</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/shitposting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>shitposting</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/Shitposts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Shitposts</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://beige.party/tags/puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>puns</span></a></p>
William Witteman<p>Why is it important to visually inspect milk?</p><p>So that it gets "past your eyes".</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Eve :verified:<p><a href="https://swiss.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <br>Why did the lobster blush? Because it saw the ocean's bottom!</p>
Eve :verified:<p><a href="https://swiss.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <br>What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.</p>
extremeimprov<p>Extreme Improv Joke of the Day</p><p>New episode daily!</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokesbadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokesbadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/dadjokesfordays" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokesfordays</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>They don't have the stomach for it.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>Condoms don't always guarantee safe sex.<br>A buddy of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br>👍<br>Hot Jokes<br><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>Well, it is more of a rap really.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Dad Jokes<p>It is about 2 hours long.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a></p>
Zuri (he/him) 🕐 CET<p>What's the best breakfast option?</p><p>GOATmeal</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/dadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/badPuns" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>badPuns</span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br>👍<br>Hot Jokes<br><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
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